Cabbies This is by far the funniest thing I've seen on tele in a while.
ANDREW DENTON: Gerard, what makes a good taxi driver? What are the things you need?
GERARD DONAGHY: Oh, a great deal of patience, of skin like a crocodile, some of the things they say to you, you know, you've just got to let flop off your back, especially when they're drunk or nasty. Agreeing with them is usually the best thing to do, so you become, kind of like, a Liberal Socialist Communist Buddhist. Just agree with whatever they're saying, it's much easier. Especially if they're huge Maoris or something like that. Go, New Zealand...
ANDREW DENTON: Gerard, your least favourite type of passenger?
GERARD DONAGHY: Oh, I've got a bundle. Schoolies are a lot of fun. I picked up these three young girls and they had all been hammering it, but the one in the middle, she was as blind as a welder's dog. She was green, she's green, and I said to her mates, like I said, "Why don't you get her out and just let her sit down there for a bit until she can sort it?" They said, "Oh no, no, she's sweet, Mr Cab Driver, come on, come on." Anyway, I've stuck them in, I've gone about 500 metres, alright, and the next thing there's like an explosion. You know what it was like? It was like someone stuck a stick of jelly in a 30-litre drum of pineapple chunks. It went off in the back seat and it was all up the side of my ears and down the back of my shirt. It was on the windscreen. It was. I'm not kidding you. It was on the windscreen. It was in the vents to the air con, and I couldn't believe it. There was so much of it. I turned around, fully expecting to see this hollowed out body, like totally emptied out, lying there, and here's this little darling thing, you know. All of a sudden I'm in something out of 'The Exorcist' and they've got no money, you know.
